Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
