their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
