My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Can I color on your dick again?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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