Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
