I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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