Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize