Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
