That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Buhtt sex?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
