I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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