Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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