that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
