In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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