if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
