the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
