Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
