friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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