There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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