I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
