North Korea, Best Korea!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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