I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
