Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
