Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
