i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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