I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
