she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize