this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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