you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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