I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Congratulations! We have a period
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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