He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize