omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
