New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
