Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
