So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
