my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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