sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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