pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize