I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
