i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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