Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's always time for handjobs
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize