i think my tv is drunk
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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