Fuck appropriateness.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
