I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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