if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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