My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
