Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
