She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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