I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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