yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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