My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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