my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
