I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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