Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
