Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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