Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
