She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
