I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
