After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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