I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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