yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize