Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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