i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
