I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
