oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
