This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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