found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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