Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
