I got her a Nickelback box set.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
