Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
