Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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