i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
