I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize